Alex dishes out the tips

ALEX Polizzi isn’t altogether wowed, you sense, by the Metro Cafe, the place she’s come to visit tonight in THE HOTEL INSPECTOR (5, 8pm).

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Having seen it described online as “a hidden gem”, she’s arrived in quite an upbeat mood, but sadly it’s one that soon evaporates.

(Me, I’ve seen Sir Keir Starmer described online as “definitely not a complete and utter waste of space, honest”, so she ought to know better than to listen to internet reviews).

"I actually have no idea where to start on what an abomination this is," Alex cries. “It’s just... aaagggghh!” Well, quite. But hey, maybe she'll have nicer things to say when she goes inside.