How to handle workplace conflict

MOST workplaces are remarkably conflict averse. Many people don’t even like to give critical feedback to someone else directly, let alone hash out a disagreement over a path forward or address a conflict of values.

- ART MARKMAN

As a result, we kick many conflicts down the road in ways that create further problems. We lead people to believe we agree with them when we don’t, and we fail to address small concerns early on when they can be more easily fixed. This failure to act can turn molehills into mountains.

That said, it’s not always advised to engage conflict directly or immediately. Here's what you can do to make these engagements productive.

Let heat settle

When you first become aware of a conflict, there is often an emotional reaction that goes along with any contradiction or disagreement that you may recognise cognitively. This duality to a conflict reflects the distinction made in psychology between hot (emotional) states and cool (cognitive) states.

A strong emotional reaction comes along with energy. That energy drives you to want to act. Unfortunately, when the energy level is high, you may act without reflecting deeply on what you're doing.