You'd be off your trolley to miss this opening event

You realise that people need to get out more when the opening of a new budget supermarket is a major event.

- Kate Wobschall

Perhaps it’s yet another hangover from Covid, when it was the only place you were allowed to go - other than when you put the bins out or went to shake your booty for the NHS on a Thursday night.

At any rate, it’s what now passes for excitement. From virtually the moment the previous shop shut down, rumours were circulating on the local Facebook site about what would open in its place.

You know the kind of site I mean, where people complain about cats pooping in their garden, parking, pets missing from 400 miles away (‘shared, hun’) and one comedian asking if he can attend the forthcoming Forties weekend even when he’s in his 50s.