It’s Time for Kashmir to Move Beyond Patriarchy

Patriarchy in Kashmir has trapped both women and men in silence. Real progress begins when empathy replaces dominance.

- Heena Nazir

I grew up in a home where decisions had a familiar pattern. Men led, women followed, and silence was treated as peace.

It was never announced as a rule, but everyone knew their place. From how tea was poured to who spoke in family gatherings, there was an order that seemed natural.

Only later did I realise that what we called respect was often restraint, and what we mistook for harmony was habit.

Patriarchy doesn't always scream in the valley. It lives in expectations handed down through generations. It hides in the way we teach daughters to be obedient and sons to be strong. Families repeat these lessons without thinking, believing they preserve culture.

The truth is, this pattern has shaped our homes for centuries and still defines many lives today.

Growing up, I saw how women carried the invisible weight of adjustment. Mothers woke first, worked last, and ate only after everyone else. Daughters learned early to soften their voices. Many women I knew lived with the belief that compromise was a virtue.

At the same time, I saw how men were confined too. My brothers were expected to stay firm, never cry, and always provide. They were praised for being responsible, but no one asked if they were tired or afraid.