Parents hate my divorced dad fella

MY mum and dad hate my boyfriend so much that they pull outrageous stunts whenever he’s around.

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He turns up at our house and my parents start snogging and groping like teenagers in front of him. They talk about kinky stuff and ask him cringe-worthy ques-tions about his ex-lovers.

The other night my father pa-raded around in his underpants and stood right in front of the telly while my guy was attempt-ing to watch the news. Gross.

My mum got in from work and barked, in a loud voice: “What's that idiot doing here?” I tenta-tively asked if there was enough food for him to stay to dinner and she hissed: “I’ve got some rotten eggs. Will they do?”

Very funny. I offered to cook for us but she banned me from touching her cooker, so I ended up ordering in pizza, which she forced us to eat in the garden.