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STAR MAN MR SLEGDGE - AKA TOBY TARRANT - LOOKS DOWN UNDER

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IT goes without saying that Australia's a beautiful place. With thousands of miles of unspoilt coastline, perfect weather and fascinating wildlife, it attracts tourists from all over the world.

But, of course, Mr Sledge has his doubts. "The weather's nice on the outskirts but 99% of it is just a dust bowl. They don't let us see the real Australia - they only show you about 100m of coastline."

Even the nation's unique wildlife can't win him over. He claims cuddly koala bears are "riddled with chlamydia", while many of the spiders and snakes come packed with life-threatening venom.

"Whereas what have we got?" he adds. "The badger. No one's ever been hurt by a badger. That's because our animals quite like us. Whereas Australians are so unbearable that every creature there is sick of them as well."