Why Self-Love Feels So Difficult

AND WHAT TO REMEMBER ABOUT IT

- BY SANUTHI HERATH

We hear it everywhere: "love yourself." It sounds simple enough, right? But when you actually try to practice self-love, it often feels...hard. Some would say impossible. To many of us, loving ourselves is one of the toughest things to do, even though it's one of the most important things you can do for yourself. So why does it feel so difficult? Let's break it down.

From the time we were little, a lot of us were rewarded for our achievements - good grades, being polite, winning something. Rarely were we praised just for existing, living. When we make mistakes, it feels like everything good you've ever done doesn't matter anymore. That teaches us a dangerous lesson: that love (even self-love) must be 'earned' and can be taken away in the blink of an eye. By the time we're adults, loving ourselves without conditions can feel so wrong, like we haven't done "enough" or we've made a mistake, so we don't deserve it. It's a never-ending cycle because even people who've achieved great things in life still feel this way.