5 phrases that drive therapists up a wall

A therapist's job is to listen—but not all words are music to their ears. Some indicate that clients aren't taking the process seriously; others reveal misunderstandings that need to be clarified or deep-rooted beliefs that should be corrected. We asked a handful of therapists which phrases drive them up a wall and why.

- BY ANGELA HAUPT

“I don’t want to take up too much time.”

Apologizing for being in therapy just wastes precious time, says Lauren Auer, a therapist in Peoria, Ill. “It’s literally my job,” she says. Yet she ends up needing to devote part of the session to convincing her clients they deserve to be there. There may be underlying beliefs about worthiness at play: “A lot of times, it’s rooted in what they’ve learned about taking up space or being too much,” Auer says. She often responds gently: “Let’s talk about that. What I’m hearing from you is ...”

“Sorry for crying.”

Uttering these words “is like apologizing for breathing in my office,” Auer says, yet she hears them daily. She typically reminds clients that “