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The First 18 Months

The Atlantic

|

July 2026

A Cabinet meeting with my son, who is exactly as old as the current administration

- By Alexandra Petri

The First 18 Months

Sir!

I love you! Thank you for including me in this meeting to talk about all the wonderful things you've accomplished since January 2025. What a big, beautiful man you are. The greatest fellow in the whole world! You're so alert. And you can walk! Wow!

When grown men see you, they weep, and they are right to do so. Look at those toes. Your hair looks great; it is the right amount. If you were playing golf and you wanted to just put the ball in the hole with your hand, I don't think any of us would stop you.

And that face! That face should be on Mount Rushmore! Or the Department of Labor, at the very least.

MEER VERHALEN VAN The Atlantic

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