Writing for Friends was no joke

EVER SINCE I RETIRED FROM TELEVISION WRITING AT the ripe age of 38, people have asked me, "Why would you quit such a cool career?" It's impossible to answer this question over cocktail-party conversation. Where would I even begin? There were the grueling hours, the egotistical bosses, the dysfunction-there's everything the Writers Guild of America is currently fighting against with their ongoing strike, and the issues have only gotten more complex since I left in 2008.

- PATTY LIN

My disillusionment had begun at my very first writing job but was momentarily staved off by a positive experience at Freaks and Geeks. Then came Friends. When my agent told me the Friends team wanted to meet with me, I was stunned. It was America's most popular sitcom-and I had been writing for only two years. But somehow, after a grueling, eight-person interview, I got the job.

MY FIRST DAY, in July 2000, was a nerve-racking blur. The staff had 14 writers, which was large, but this show had a big budget and high expectations. Five of the writers were women. I was the only minority. (NBC had just launched a diversity program, and the network was making efforts to hire more writers of color. On principle, I support affirmative-action policies. But in practice? It's a major mindf-ck. You can't tell if they want you for your talent or your race.) The creators, Marta Kauffman and David Crane, took us all to an Italian restaurant for the "annual welcome lunch," which had the forced feeling of Thanksgiving dinner with relatives you don't like. In all of my fears about the new job, I never predicted the writing staff would be so cliquey. They reminded me of the rich kids in my high school who drove brand-new convertibles.

Each 12-hour day started in a giant conference room. At 10 a.m. people would trickle in, then we'd break into two teams to work on separate episodes. David would always lead one room and Marta the other. I was scared of them both, for different reasons. David, an impossible-to-please workaholic, was always looking for a better line or joke. Marta had a booming voice and would rest her bare feet on the table while we worked. Our chitchat was always tense. (Kauffman and Crane declined to comment.)