Living War Rooms

Every time tensions flare between the two nuclear-armed neighbours, drawing- room generals, WhatsApp warriors, and tea-stall tacticians flood the airwaves with unsolicited military advice—while real lives hang in the balance

- Iftikhar Gilani

AFTER covering wars in Syria, Ethiopia, Sudan, Russia-Ukraine and Israel's wars in Lebanon and Gaza—witnessing missiles and mortars flying overhead and entire neighbourhoods turned to rubble—it can be safely concluded that South Asia is perhaps the only region where ordinary people morph into instant experts on war strategy—all from their living rooms.

This may not be limited to war strategy alone. It appears the strength of both India and Pakistan is not drawn from their nuclear arsenals or claims of being the world's largest democracy or even mango exports—but from their uncanny ability to advise on just about anything, from prescribing medication to the critically ill, explaining virus mutations, to correcting cricket techniques, all while lounging in their baniyans.

A news alert pops up—"Missiles fired near border"—and within minutes, your barber is explaining ballistic trajectories between snips. He'll explain why Multiple Independently Targetable Re-entry Vehicles (MIRVs) are superior to conventional bombs, backing it up by citing a cousin in the Air Force (who, as it turns out, works in accounts).

“Arrey bhai, you don’t understand,” says a friend, whose primary military credential is watching Border and Uri 10 times. “India should have struck the ammunition dump first, not the barracks.”

When Indian missiles reportedly rained down on nine locations in Pakistan, hitting alleged terror infrastructure from Bahawalpur to Muridke near Lahore, a WhatsApp group in a South Delhi residential society went ablaze. Auntie in our neighbourhood was unimpressed with the strike’s precision. The building, she noted, was still intact. None of the deceased wore uniforms, which left her sceptical.