WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

One thing I’m glad about in our modern world is that the era of catcalling is, largely, over.

- GRETA SOLOMON

Like so many of my Gen-X cohort, I used to brace myself while walking past a construction site; for fear of the words, ‘Cheer up love, it might never happen,’ being lobbed in my direction by a random builder. The inference was clearly that a woman who wasn’t relaxed and smiling needed to fix her face in order to be acceptable for their tea-break viewing.

Even today, the fact that the beauty industry is worth over £30 billion in the UK, and encourages us to smooth out our frown lines and face tension with all manner of lotions and potions, makes it clear that worry lines are simply not acceptable.

Worry, clearly, is seen as something that ought to be internalised and kept in the recesses of our minds, not displayed for all to see. But when you keep schtum about what’s bothering you, or try to suppress or bypass it, the load builds. In short, when you stick a mask over what matters, life gets heavy.

In the parenting and community Facebook groups I’m part of, deep, dark worries are routinely shared, but mostly anonymously. Yet they almost always receive an influx of supportive comments, and it feels as though there’s a sense of relief that someone is finally speaking up.

‘It’s natural to worry. In fact, it’s often useful to worry,’ says BACP-accredited integrative counsellor, Georgina Sturmer. ‘It keeps you in check. It reminds you of what you care about, and it helps you to stick to your own internal compass.’ However, society’s insistence that it’s something to be hidden can confuse us.

‘When you start to get to grips with the worries that flood your mind, there can sometimes be a sense of shame,’ says Sturmer. ‘There can be a sense that everyone else is coping and doing fine, and that you are doing things wrong by being worried or anxious. You might also feel that your worries might not be socially acceptable. But the reality is that so many of us are walking around with a head full of worry.’