FEEL THE FEAR

I gaze out the window as the countryside whizzes by in a green blur. Through my much-loved earphones, I listen to the album Scarlet's Walk by Tori Amos — music that has gotten me through much more difficult experiences than this, I remind myself. Because this — although nerve-wracking — is nothing compared to the challenges I have faced in life so far. Really, giving a talk to a room of strangers around my passion — careers in writing — is pretty straightforward stuff.

- By CAROLINE BUTTERWICK

I've done public speaking before, I remind myself. I've done my prep (and have the notes with me). Maybe these nerves are because I'm feeling a little fragile — it's been a stressful year, marred with illness and disappointments and other things that have made me a little less sure of myself. Also, I know I get anxious before things like this, and today is no exception.

Maybe you can relate: the nerves before the job interview, the choir performance, the unfamiliar social occasion. Or the worries we have when we're faced with big life choices: moving house, changing career, starting a relationship. Things we know are, almost certainly, for the best — or even very much desired — but still make us fearful.

On the train, I remind myself not only that I can do this, but that I enjoy doing this. I have chosen to do this talk, after all.

I am working hard to frame the feelings as excitement, and this, coach Zoé Carroll tells me when I speak to her later, is a helpful approach. 'When we feel something happening in our body, we think it’s fear, but the exact same feeling in our body is also excitement,' she explains. 'It's what I like to call activation. Your body is simply gearing you up to be able to perform at your absolute best.