just who do you think you are?

No, we're not accusing you of being out of line! But it is common at midlife to have a self-concept that's based on OUTDATED IDEAS OF WHO YOU ARE, which can seriously hold you back. Read on to find out if you're READY FOR AN OUTLOOK UPDATE so you can move forward with your life THE WAY YOU WANT TO.

- STACEY COLINO

when you live for several decades viewing yourself a certain way-maybe you've always seen yourself as an ambitious go-getter for whom failure is not an option, or perhaps you view yourself as a low-key person who doesn't like the spotlight-it's understandable that those self-perceptions become solidified. Consciously or not, we all have beliefs about who we are that are based on our behaviors, abilities, feelings, and personality characteristics as well as how others see us and how they respond to us. This is what psychologists call "self-concept" - a reflection of how you see yourself as a person and it has a powerful effect on the way you act, the choices you make, the attitudes you have, and how you move through life.

And then you hit middle age, and maybe you start to feel not quite...right. One reason may be that your reactions, preferences, needs, values, and expectations have shifted over time, but your self-concept hasn't kept up. "We tend to think of ourselves as static, but we do change," says Mark Leary, Ph.D., professor emeritus in the department of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University and author of The Curse of the Self. "It's extremely common to have old views of yourself hanging around-our early views of ourselves stick with us because they're like glasses through which we view the world."

you are not carved in stone