Unit of Pleasure

Pop culture may have led us to believe that we can only find our 'happily ever after' in that once-in-a-lifetime soulmate, but TANISHA RK, a polyamorous Bahujan and co-founder of a pleasure store, proves that the best things sometimes come in threes

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BETTER TOGETHER : Shweta Sangtani, Tanisha RK, and Aashish Mehrotra are exploring new ways of living and loving. On Shweta: Dress, LOVEBIRDS. On Tanisha: Cardigan, pants; both  LOVEBIRDS. On Aashish: Shirt, KARDO. Pants, MARGN

“YOU CAN’T HAVE all three names on the rent agreement,” I was told as I finalised the papers for the first-ever house I would be referring to as my home. “It’s too complicated to explain and housing societies typically expect the agreement to be signed by an individual or a married couple. You know, families.”

What is that word? And why does it seem to follow me everywhere I go?

As a teenager, I didn’t have the right words to express my queer, non-binary, Bahujan identity. The fear that my future would always look different from the aspirational ideals that most people chased after—and what elders expected of me—always lingered. There was no room to envision a stable and conventional marriage for myself, not when partners who once cherished and celebrated my fluidity would eventually remind me to ‘act normal’ around their friends and families. There was no space for authenticity, not when so many of my partners routinely gushed about wanting me to take their last name and raising our hypothetical kids to believe in their gods, indirectly suggesting that I forfeit my own culture and language for the promise of a family.

What does the word ‘family’ mean to someone who was only ever taught to shrink themselves to earn one?