What's Gentle Is Found With Time

A marriage, a new house, and a valiant first attempt at a cross-cultural project later, Men's Folio reunites with actor Shawn Thia to define his version of a “gentleman”.

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Under the warm gaze of Tissot, a lighthearted retrospective leads to the gradual loosening of his tie on the concept. After all, it is only through the gradual undoing of old holds that we — or Thia — can truly define our own ideal ways of being.

WHAT DOES YOUR DEFINITION OF “GENTLEMAN” LOOK LIKE?

On the outside, I would say someone who dresses classily — when people look at you and have a good feeling about you. But on the inside, I feel it's treating others with kindness. It could be holding the door for someone or letting ladies go first. Small acts like these can really set a gentleman apart.

WHAT DO YOU THINK INFORMS THIS DEFINITION?

I can’t name names, but I think it’s mostly the Western and Chinese content I watched growing up, where certain male figures behave in ways that make them more appealing, I would associate that with being gentlemanly. Image-wise, I would think of characters from Peaky Blinders. It’s not just the cap; it's more of the fact that they still dress up even when they are just going to a bar. Then again, it's not that practical to do so in Singapore, and we are very practical people.

SO, IN THE CONTEXT OF SINGAPORE, WOULD THAT IMAGE CHANGE?

I don't think a Singaporean gentleman would behave differently from a Malaysian gentleman. I think it’s about how you treat people, how you regard yourself, and always making sure you are in a position where you can hold higher ground. It's the same everywhere.

IN THE PAST TWO YEARS SINCE WE LAST SPOKE, DO YOU THINK YOU'VE COME CLOSER TO YOUR DEFINITION OF “GENTLEMAN”?