Real leaders do apologise

Apologising isn't easy, says Peter Hughes, but it's a critical requirement and essential to successful management. When last did you offer a heartfelt apology?

- Peter Hughes

Wage negotiations dragged on and rumours of a strike were in the air. The negotiating team – three selected managers – had been at it for weeks and were doing their best to cut a fair deal for the company.

I received regular briefings, but felt there were a few issues on which we should concede. The managers disagreed. I conceded, and negotiations dragged on.

A long-awaited family holiday was approaching. As the days passed, tensions mounted and I grew more impatient with our team. They continued holding out on what I considered to be minor issues. Meanwhile, the kids were packing up the camping gear and fishing tackle, and still, no settlement in sight.

Frustrated, I decided to personally intervene in the next negotiation session. I joined the meeting on the pretext of assisting them resolve the outstanding issues, and quickly conceded on the few points on which the team had been fighting for weeks. I signed the agreement and went on holiday.

Can you imagine what those three managers thought of me? I knew I'd upset them, but didn't realise just how deeply. Throughout the holiday, I worried about the way I'd treated them.