We Are Not Amused

Country folk are too busy training for the Sheep Olympics to worry about gumboot throwing.

- Michele Hewitson

The royals came to New Zealand, but not to the country. Instead they went to the city, and the city pretended to be the country, because everyone knows that we country hicks amuse ourselves by holding gumboot-throwing competitions.

But gumboot tossing in Auckland? I lived in Auckland for most of my adult life and I was the only person I knew who owned a pair. They have since been given a decent burial because they were pink and red and paisley patterned, and no real country person would be caught dead in them.

I don’t know what sort of gumboots were provided for the Royal Auckland Gumboot Throwing Competition, but I do know that Meghan’s sister-in-law (and hair-tossing soulmate) favours Le Chameau Wellingtons, at 150 quid a throw. Her gumboots are what the Guardian calls “proper posh – in a pheasant-shooting and no-central-heating kind of way”. You wouldn’t want to be chucking your Le Chameaus about.