Discomfort zone

Doing things that are difficult shouldn't be avoided. In fact, we should embrace the angst they evoke.

- Marc Wilson

Has anyone ever said to you, when things aren't going well, that "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? Did it help? Or did it make you want to whack them over the head with your rolled-up NZ Listener? Okay, maybe that's just me. I get pretty ticked off with “live your best life", too.

But perhaps they were right.

Generally, I prefer things I enjoy to things that "don't kill me". And I know I'm not alone - it's true we find things that are enjoyable, exciting, and rewarding to be highly motivating. Computer games are fun, and it's great sitting on the newly built deck enjoying a beer and some sunshine.

But I also have to admit that at least some of the things that I enjoy aren't, ahem, always without tribulation. More often than not, those computer games end with the ignominious death of my avatar. I love the deck that I finished building over Anzac weekend, but my back still aches at the memory.

As Kaitlin Woolley, of Cornell University in the US, notes, not all goals involve fun, and we typically find it harder to pursue goals, no matter how worthy, that are tough. That's a problem if that difficulty means we give up, or fail and then give up.