What Being A Muslim Feels Like Today!

It’s a religion, it’s a crusade, it’s a punchline. Arshie Chevalwala explores what being a Muslim, even an indifferent one, feels like today.

- Arshie Chevalwala

When I found out about the attacks that happened in Paris late last year, my first reaction — after horror — was the fear of losing the big Parisian holiday my boyfriend and I had been saving for. I realise this sounds inappropriate, but when you’re an atheist with a Muslim name you can’t not think like this.

Allow me to elaborate: My parents — who I still live with and am very close to — are liberal Muslims who fail to see the problem with being believers. It’s a great concept, really. God keeps you in check, you meet all your friends and family at religious gatherings and the directions to eternal happiness are pretty straightforward. What’s to lose? But despite their solid pitch on the rectitude of Islam, I still wound up with no faith.

In some part, I’ve been disassociating myself from the community since a very young age. I didn’t fully understand the reason for my discomfort with organised religion then, but I knew instinctively that I didn’t want any part of it. I didn’t need an imaginary friend to teach me how to be a good person. Also, I drink like a fish and have quite a solid terrorism-humour fuelled defence mechanism in place. It was my way of putting distance between myself and the community, and it has been successful. I was cool, people came to know me as the inappropriate Muslim, and it’s what they loved me for. A fair few of my friendships are solely based on a good Jihadi joke. It’s even how I met my boyfriend (atheist Muslim boy meets atheist Muslim girl, they both have a blast).

So I guess what I’m saying is: Islam may not be the religion for me, but it