“I've Finally Discovered Love Doesn't Have To Be Limited To One Person”

A year into his polyamorous journey, Jack* has found himself somewhere he never expected – in happy, committed relationships with two separate women

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One of the most common reactions that I get from friends when I tell them my wife Lucy* and I are polyamorous is, “Well, that’s fine if you want to have a bit of fun sleeping around. But what happens if you or Lucy fall in love with someone else? What then?”

Some of our friends are worried that such an eventuality will lead to the ultimate breakdown of our marriage – with one of us moving out to live with our new lover and leaving our old family life behind.

People assume that, ultimately, one relationship has to “win”, meaning that all others will be discarded. I have repeatedly explained that polyamory is built on the principle that you can love more than one person. Being in love with more than one person is not only possible, it is, in fact, desirable compared to more conventional ideas of monogamy. Still, almost a year later, it seems to have gone right over their heads.