“I let Susan Miller Run My Life For a Month”

The OG astrologer took the wheel, and holy sh*t, things were different.

- Diane Vadino

"One week into January, I got laid off. Two days later, I was sued by an actual state after paying my taxes in the wrong one. My in-progress novel— which had been ‘for real, almost finished’ for a couple of years—was still (and possibly forever) in progress. My 10-year-old niece took over my Tinder and got better responses pretending to be me than I got myself.

Basically, for me, 2019 was looking very much like a dumpster fire.

I tried everything to turn it around: meditation, stress eating, yoga, swimming, catatonically sitting through three seasons of Prison Break. I was even sleeping with crystals (citrine and malachite for healing and positive transformation) under my pillow. And... nothing. I was burned out from all the attempted self-improvement. Wasn’t there something—or someone— that could just do it for me? Oh, right: astrology.

For 30 days, I decided to actually follow my horoscope—not just read it. The Universe would be my life coach.

For help, I reached out to quite possibly the most famous astrologer in the world: US-based Susan Miller of Astrology Zone. Her fans include Emma Roberts, Jennifer Aniston, and Katy Perry. At least 1.3 million readers visit her site every month to pore over her epically detailed horoscopes. Who else would I ask?

When I told my close friend Katie about this plan over drinks, she put down her wine and slapped my hand, ‘Stop it,’ she said. ‘You can’t.’