Queen of the BOARD

In which I turn out to be quite good at chess

- 

You'll have to imagine that I’m writing this in hushed tones, in the style of a television snooker commentary or something like that. Actually, do they still have hushed tones in snooker? I've not really watched since I accidentally caught 10 minutes of Pot Black in the early 90s.

Anyway - hushed tones, remember - you join us here at Dear Towers for a tense match in the Dear Family Chess Tournament. Mr Dear, who is mysteriously very bad at chess, is trailing by four games to one, so there is everything to play for.

And as it happens, you join us at a crucial moment in the game.

'I've won,' says Mr D. 'You can’t move.'

'We've been through this before,' I say. 'You're supposed to say checkmate.'

'It doesn’t matter what I say. You can’t move.'

As it turns out, I can move. But he gets me in the end. Four games to two.

'Time for one more,' he says. 'Winner takes all?'

'Time for one more certainly, but I’m not sure about winner takes all. That's not quite how games work. Let's keep it at winner of the most games takes all.