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LET COUNSELLOR KEREN LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD

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My friends are so disorganised

Q I come down to London from Scotland once a year for a week to catch up with family and friends. I’m kept busy, as I want to see a lot of people and they want to see me. I understand friends have their lives so it doesn’t always work out. What I find difficult is managing the people who don’t like to plan, and then I can’t see them, as I’m busy. I have fallen out with one of my oldest friends over this. Christine, Aberdeen

A I think we can divide the world into three groups of people: those that plan ahead, those that never plan and are spontaneous, and those who have learnt to plan when needed. It sounds like your friend is in the spontaneous group and feels penned in when asked to fix a date. I understand that doesn’t work for you.

You can have a chat with her about it but I don’t think it will change, as she’s fixed in her ways. What you could do is leave a slot for her and hope that nearer the time she can accommodate you. You'll always find something to do in London, if she isn’t free. That way, she'll know you've made space for her and she has nothing to grumble about.

Will he ever leave her?