LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!'I'M GIVING KIWI KIDS A VOICE'

Counsellor Dharshana wants to make sure children know they're heard and never alone

- Words: Jo Bailey. Pictures: Elodie Berthe.

As the youngest of five girls growing up in a busy, loving family in Colombo, Sri Lanka, Dharshana Ponnampalam often struggled to be heard. It's one reason the manager of What's Up, New Zealand's long-running mental health helpline for young people, is determined all children and young adults in Aotearoa have someone who truly listens.

"In Sri Lankan culture, there's a big emphasis on respecting people older than ourselves," explains Dharshana. "We have very specific ways of addressing siblings and elders, which for me, created a natural hierarchy. Even in a really loving upbringing, I didn't always have a voice growing up."

Those early childhood experiences helped to shape her outlook.

"When children are trying to be heard, they're sometimes labelled noisy or naughty. But what they really need is to be noticed and listened to."

After 15 years on the counselling team at What's Up, spending the past year as manager, Dharshana, 37, says the big issues facing children who call the helpline have remained surprisingly consistent - from bullying, family relationships, school pressure, peer and romantic challenges, to self-harm and violence at home.

"The order changes, but the main topics don't," she says. "It can be hard for young people in the modern world. We don't have the same village around us which once existed."