It's never TOO LATE for better SEX!

After childbirth and divorce, Lindsay Smith is on a mission to improve her pelvic floor

- Lindsay Smith

Childbirth does funny things to a body. Way back when we announced the birth and weight of my second (enormous) child, one of my then-husband’s friends actually posted ‘commiserations’ on Facebook, presumably directed at my knackered vagina. The sheer inappropriateness of this aside, he probably wasn’t wrong. I had the luxury of coming to terms with many of these changes – and what they meant for my sex life – from within the safety of a loving marriage. But now, newly divorced after nearly 20 years, the idea of revealing this battered pre-loved body to someone new is, frankly, horrifying.

Imagining what it might feel like to start over with a new partner is worrying. How might they feel about my crinkly stomach? Would they understand why I can’t join them on a trampoline? They never knew me before children, when everything was just a bit…tighter.

I decide against including my pelvic-floor concerns on my new dating app profile, but I do eventually meet a great new man. Things are going well on all fronts - even better, he didn’t run away when he first saw me naked. Despite this, I can’t shake the feeling that something might be lacking for him in the bedroom department. We're open with each other, even in these early days, so I tell him outright that I’m worried. Does everything feel... all right down there?

He’s quick to reassure me that everything is amazing. He’s so into me! I’m hot! It’s great! This is all an enormous relief, then there’s a slight pause. He’s lost in thought. Almost as an afterthought, he says, 'I mean, my ex hadn't had children, so it is a bit... different. But... it's fine!' and smiles brightly.