FINDING forgiveness

Following trauma and tragedy, the journey to compassion has helped these two women to heal

- HELEN RENSHAW

'I FREED MYSELF FROM THE HATRED THAT WAS POISONING ME'

Vi Donovan, 70, from New Malden, Surrey, talks about the power of restorative justice following the murder of her son, Chris.

On the evening of Friday 26 May 2001, the two youngest of our four children, Christopher and Phil, then 18 and 17, had met for a pizza after Phil finished work. My husband Ray and I were in bed when the doorbell rang just after 1am. Two policemen were on the doorstep - the boys had been involved in an altercation and Chris was seriously injured.

Immediately, we rushed to the hospital, where Chris was in the operating theatre and Phil was covered in blood. He explained that he'd been walking down the road with Chris when a big group of youths came towards them. Completely unprovoked, one boy had punched Phil on the nose, knocking him to the ground, and a group of them started kicking him. Chris tried to pull them off, and they wrestled him to the ground, stamped on his head and kicked him in the face. Then they ran away, leaving Chris unconscious in the middle of a road, where a car hit him.

When the doctor came in, his face told us what he was going to say. Our lovely son Christopher - a hard-working, fun-loving boy who was always laughing - died on the operating table that night, just a week away from his 19th birthday. Ray fell to the floor. I ran out of the room. I wanted to go home, wake up and escape the nightmare. A policeman grabbed me and I went berserk, punching and kicking him. Rage exploded out of me. Physically, Phil wasn't badly hurt, and was released from hospital that night. But he was traumatised and blamed himself.

I think he's always felt guilty, which is so unfair. Even now, 24 years later, he still has flashbacks.