I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY MY SON DIED

Hannah Johnston, 38, has never found the answers she so desperately needs

- EIMEAR O'HAGAN

Lying on the hospital bed next to my son William, I gently sang the words to the Snow Patrol song Chasing Cars. 'If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world..." I whispered, as tears fell down my face.

Five days before, William, my happy, healthy, 21-month-old little boy, had a slight temperature of between 37 and 38C before suffering a massive febrile seizure in the kitchen of our home, followed by two cardiac arrests.

He'd survived, but tests had revealed his brain was severely damaged and his tiny body was shutting down. Now, in a quiet private room with my husband Keith, 40, and I cuddling William, it was time to say goodbye to our darling boy.

Over a year on from his death, we still don't know why William died. His death has been categorised as SUDC - sudden unexpected death in childhood - and the absence of a 'why this happened to him has only added to our trauma.

William was born in February 2020 and was adored by his big brothers, Max, then six, and Lewis, five. He had an angelic smile and a mischievous personality, and loved to be the centre of attention.

Until 13 November 2021, he’d been a completely normal, healthy boy, apart from suffering from the odd sniffle and temperature like most children his age.

On that terrible winter’s afternoon he and Max were eating tea in the kitchen, while Keith, a software engineer, was out playing football, and Lewis was at the beach with my parents.

When William slumped to one side in his high chair I raced to him, fearing he was choking, but with his body stiff and eyes rolled back, I realised he was having a seizure. Crying hysterically, I held him and dialled 999.