The woman on the ELEPHANT

Yes, there were happy memories – but her marriage was over now

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On the night of my 30th wedding anniversary I could have won a BAFTA for best actress. My two daughters and their husbands had arrived at my house. The way I hugged and kissed them you'd have thought I was the happiest woman alive. But I was so miserable my make-up was cracking under the strain of holding a smile.

'Happy 30th!' my elder daughter Tammy cried as she thrust a bunch of red roses into my hands.

My husband Robbie hadn't been there to greet them because he'd told me he had to go out to buy cigarettes. But I suspected his main mission was a quick visit to a certain brunette in the new housing estate.

Without being aware of it, I found a vase in the kitchen and arranged the roses. I also chatted to my younger daughter Sharon about her pregnancy, with asides to her husband not to stuff himself with crisps. Multitasking in action.

'This is the card, Mum.'

Tammy handed me a creation covered in glitter and I read the verse aloud. It spoke of love that lasted forever. My eyes watered as I thought of Robbie's affair, but Tammy misunderstood them for tears of happiness.

How were Robbie and I going to tell our daughters that our marriage was over? Or even inform them the following day? Ring them and say, 'Thanks again for the gorgeous pearl earrings, and by the way your father and I are getting divorced'? The prospect made my innards shrivel.

Someone had turned on the telly and the roar of a football crowd filled the front room.

'Where's Dad?' Tammy asked me.

'Buying cigarettes.'

'Doesn't he understand yet that they're taking years off his life?'

I thought the brunette would kill him first, but I said, 'He insists that what he puts in his lungs is his business and no one else's.'