My weight nearly RUINED MY SEX LIFE

After piling on the pounds, Emanuela Ludlow knew enough was enough when she couldn't bear to be touched

- WORDS: TIFFANY WALLIS, RACHEL TOMPKINS

Sometimes no matter how many times a person tells you something you just can’t bring yourself to believe it. I know that was the case for me with my husband Matt, 40. Because no matter how many times he told me I was beautiful I just didn’t believe him.

In fact, I hated the way my body looked so much I got dressed in the dark so I didn’t see my reflection in the mirror. I felt sick catching a glimpse of myself in shop windows and shied away from my husband’s touch – embarrassed about him feeling my rolls of flesh.

It hadn’t always been this way. In my 20s I was a size 8 and less than 9st, but after having our daughters Alysha in 2018 and Sinead in January 2020 I struggled to lose the weight I’d gained when I was pregnant. I even started putting more on as, looking after two children, I didn’t have time to cook healthy meals. Instead I’d snack on crisps and biscuits and eat the kids’ leftovers.

At just 5ft 2in, I soon weighed over 18st and I just couldn’t stop eating. Food was my safe place, the thing I turned to if I was tired, upset or bored. I loved takeaways, especially pizza and Chinese, and could sometimes get through three in a day, often spending £100 a week on them. Any leftovers I had I ate for breakfast, washed down with 3ltr of cola.