The fear of SHOWTIME

Michèle gives us a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a performer

- MICHÈLE A'COURT

“It is possible,” I said to my husband and anyone else who'd listen over recent weeks, “that I am too old to do jobs that scare me this much.”

I said this even as I was wheeling my suitcase out the door, heading to the airport to take an international flight to do that actual job.

And I’m writing this on the other side of it, with relief that it is over and pride that - spoiler - I made it work. I am also exhausted.

The specifics of the job aren’t important. (For the record, eight days on a cruise ship performing half-a-dozen solo shows I'd never done quite this way before.)

But you will get the general nature of this fear. Of committing to something when you're not sure you know how to do it. Agreeing to a date way off in the future, then watching it inch closer in your calendar and feeling a rising level of panic and despair.