Sex, pain & betrayal WHAT JO WANTS US TO KNOW

The relationship expert lifts the lid on intimacy, trauma and talking to teens

- Fleur Guthrie

Jo Robertson has built a career on what goes on between the sheets. While growing up, she experienced a number of unsafe sexual encounters. And although challenging, they sparked in her a curiosity about where people got their templates for what sex and relationships should be like. She also saw a therapist for her own sexual pain. The 37-year-old, who appeared on Married at First Sight NZ as an expert, now specialises in relationships, infidelity and trauma.

The mum-of-two is also a passionate parenting educator and public speaker. Her research into how accessible porn and illegal content have become available to children online has turned into a crusade to see change, and Jo regularly presents to government agencies.

As for Jo’s own relationship, she’s married to Dave, 39, CEO of Live Ocean, a marine conservation charity, and they live in West Auckland with their three sons, Jack, 11, Beau, 10, and Danny, seven.

Tell us about your childhood, living in the slums of Manila while your parents did development work there? Iwas born in the Philippines and remember thinking I was Filipino. I grew up in an earth-floored house that was made of concrete with holes, no windows and a sheet covering the door. But I never had a sense of being at risk ever. Everything gets normalised. I remember playing on a rubbish heap - part of the game for me and my brother Tom was to run from our house, through this massive field, which was a rubbish heap and filled with snakes. The aim was to get to the top without a snake getting you. I had no reference point for poverty. I didn’t have a comparison. As children in the slum neighbourhood, we would play with rubbish. Those were our toys and I was just having fun.