“Turnip Boy is more than an accountant’s worst nightmare”

TURNIP BOY COMMITS TAX EVASION offers the chance to have a ripping good time

- IAN EVENDEN

As someone who's been playing games since he was six, I've committed a lot of crimes.

Some of them have been the kind you'd think were cute if a dog did them, such as petty pilfering for comedy purposes and graffiti. Though if your dog can do graffiti, you might want to get that on TV, rather than sitting there reading a magazine.

Obviously, all this crime is canceled out by the sheer number of times I've saved the universe, in recognition of which I should have been left immune from taxation for the rest of my life and the recipient of free lattes every time I go into a coffee shop. But life's never fair, is it?