Phil Nuytten - SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY CONVOCATION ADDRESS

A final Soundings column from DIVER Publisher and Senior Editor Phil Nuytten, taken from his 1995 address to students in British Columbia

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I am here to give you an uplifting and inspiring message, using examples from my own work. I think we’ll give the examples a pass, since they won’t be of much value to you, unless you’re planning to build a submarine or become deep-sea diving accountants, or something of that nature.

The old hard-hat divers—you know, the guys with the big copper helmets and the air hoses—had a terse way of summing up their trade to aspiring young deep-sea divers. They used to say, and I quote, “The bullshit ends on the ladder.”

And they were absolutely right. There comes a moment when the water closes over the top of your helmet and theory becomes reality. The tender says over the phone, “Are you ready to begin your descent?” And you answer, “Roger, Topside. Beginning my descent,” even though every cell in your body is screaming, “Are you out of your mind!?! Get me out of here! Pull me up!”

In commercial diving circles, that particular feeling is given a ‘Sphincter Factor’ of 10.

Congratulations, ladies and gentlemen. I can’t help but notice that you are now on the ladder.

What happens next? Well, that’s something you will figure out yourself. Mark Twain put it well when he said, “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that he can learn in no other way.”