TAIL AS OLD AS TIME

Was Bobi the world's longest-lived dogor just another casualty of Big Kibble?

- MATT REYNOLDS

ON OCTOBER 21, 2023, Bobithe dog died. At 31 years and 163 days, he was old. So old, in fact, that eight months earlier, Bobi had been crowned the "oldest dog ever" by Guinness World Records-the authority when it comes to these kinds of things.

Or is it? Shortly after Bobi's death, experts started raising questions about the Portuguese mastiff's advanced years. "Not a single one of my veterinary colleagues believe Bobi was actually 31 years old," veterinarian Danny Chambers told The Guardian. "For the Guinness Book of Records to maintain their credibility and authority in the eyes of the veterinary profession, they really need to publish some irrefutable evidence."

The reputation of the world's foremost Irish dry stout turned recordkeeper was on the line here. Someone needed to find the truth. That someone, it turned out, was me.

A quick email to Guinness World Records would clear this up, I thought. This is the organization that verified the fastest time to eat a banana with no hands (17.82 seconds) and the longest human tunnel traveled through by a skateboarding dog (30 pairs of legs). For more than 60 years, Guinness World Records has cataloged the stinkiest flowers, widest mouths, and largest chicken nuggets. It had the receipts for the world's oldest horses, cats, llamas (in captivity), and customer complaints. Dating the world's oldest dog would be child's play.

"We're aware of the questions surrounding the legitimacy of the record and are reviewing them," wrote Alina Polianskaya, a public relations executive at Guinness World Records, in response to my first email. I sent a second email asking what this review process might involve. "I'll come back to you when we have further info to share," Polianskaya replied. In response to my third email, she wrote, "We won't have anything further to share until the review has concluded." Polianskaya did not respond to my fourth.