My child is introverted. HELP!

My 14-year old son is an introvert and uncomfortable in large groups. Please suggest some ways to develop his social skills.

- Reena Chopra

— Haseena Begum, Hyderabad.

Introvert teens don't lack social skills; they are drained by overstimulation. Forcing participation increases social anxiety and withdrawal. You need to respect his social energy limits and temperament and offer choice instead of pressurising him to conform. For instance, at a family wedding don't pressurise him to socialise immediately. Give him 20 minutes to settle in, have dinner, and then he is likely to be more comfortable talking to relatives and friends. But don't force him or ask him why he didn't engage. Let him participate at his own pace. This will happen better when he is not being judged or forced. Also it may be a good idea to take along a friend or cousin whom he likes talking to for select social events. It will help him enjoy a large group setting more comfortably, and he is likely to learn social skills.

My ten-year-old son hesitates to try new activities such as skating or swimming. I want him to try different things so that we can identify his interests and strengths. Please advise.

— Neha Menon, Trivandrum.