Why can't these annoying people get out of my road?

This morning, as I sit contemplating the content of this week’s column, I'm thinking that perhaps I should adopt a gentler tone. Focus on nature, positive thinking, mindfulness etc.

- ANDREW HAIGH

But that’s not what you're here for, is it? So let’s take a swipe at an old favourite - annoying people.

For instance, the overtly health conscious. Runners, gym bunnies, micro-herb munchers.

With alarming regularity I hear tales of marathon runners keeling over long before the finishing line. Cluttering the route with their broken limbs and torn ligaments. It’s obviously unfortunate but do not tell me that it is healthy.

Far healthier to put your trotters up, pint in hand. Eggs, bacon, sausage, fried bread on the way and view the spectacle on the big screen in the hostelry of your choice.