SAS celebrities embrace the impending apocalypse... and quit

Watching the new series of Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins (Channel 4, Sun/ Mon, 9pm) you can't help wondering who would be doing the firing first - the 'celebs' or their agents.

- Philip Cunnington on Celebrity SAS

Maybe they thought SAS stood for 'spas and saunas', but from the first couple of episodes it's clear either the agents hadn't done their research, or their clients had overestimated their own capabilities.

Yes, the show-"a condensed version of special forces training" - is supposed to be tough, but even by its own standards, losing four participants within the first two days looks, to paraphrase Lady Bracknell, less like misfortune and more like carelessness.

Judging by the filmed inserts of the celebs talking ahead of the course, I'm putting most of my money on the responsibility lying firmly in their hands.

Former S Club 7 pop singer Hannah Spearritt claims "I quite like a bit of pain", before telling us "I don't think I'll quit on the first day".

Reader, she quits on the first day.

Louis Spence, former dancer and perpetual reality show contestant is just as adamant about his own abilities.

"I'm a survivor," he tells us, "the worst way for me to leave the course would be for me to choose to leave."

Of course, he chooses to leave.