Oh the dubious delights of growing old disgracefully

Last week it was my birthday.

- ANDREW HAIGH

A week on, and having had time to come to terms with the advancement of years, I'm feeling newly old. Correction. I am old.And it's worrying. Although, not as worrying as the alternative.

Age is a privilege not afforded to everyone. I get that and it's good to be here but I can't help but notice some of the less positive aspects of ageing.

Suddenly I'm no longer a 10. Merely a nine point five. I'm joking of course-I'm still a 10!

My hearing isn't what it used to be. I could swear I heard someone yell; “You're a six at best. And that's on a good day with the wind behind you.”