Maybe we really can be too polite...

I ALWAYS remember going into a Debenhams store. I saw a dress on the sale rack and loved the colour, so tried it on.

- Charmian Evans on Saturday

"Oooh, looks lovely," said the assistant. "It really suits you". As one who buys new clothes every five years, I took her at her word and bought it. When I got home, I looked at the label and realised it was a maternity dress. I'm a size eight, so not much room for confusion.

It's not only shop assistants who say things to please. Years ago, we flew to the Cook Islands. A tough assignment, but someone has to do it. Anyway, we flew to the tiny airport, got out and were given a lovely, coloured garland each as a welcome. We booked a taxi to take us to our accommodation. Then we waited. And waited.

I approached someone who looked as if they knew what might be going on. He beamed at me broadly and shook his head, which I took as a 'yes' when I asked if the taxi was coming. We stood, the night drawing in, tired children getting tetchy, the novelty of wearing a garland soon wearing off. Finally, we managed to get transport. I learned that the islanders don't like to say no. They nod yes even if they mean no.

It's a funny old thing, isn't it? How many times have we felt it would be rude to be direct. How many times do you make a call to hear the voice at the end of the phone say "hold on a second, and five minutes later you're still waiting.