Teach your child to look beyond grades

Nearly a third of young people aged 15 to 35 reported symptoms that included feeling empty, tense or upset most of the time, according to the National Youth Mental Health Study.

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While adolescent girls may be more aware and expressive of their emotions and fears, compared with boys their age, social anxiety may present in male teens as behavioural issues.

Teenage boys may “externalise” their fears of being judged by making fun of others or “playing the clown”, says psychotherapist Evonne Lek from Reconnect Psychology & Family Therapy.

It can be challenging for parents to detect that their teen is experiencing social anxiety, especially when there is an overemphasis on academic performance, counsellors and therapists say.

Nevertheless, parents play a crucial role in helping their adolescents to overcome it.

Mr Chris Tan, counsellor and therapist at Stress.SG, which specialises in services addressing anxiety, depression and stress, urges parents to maintain a positive relationship with their child.

He says: “Anxiety and depression can be significantly mitigated through optimal parenting.”

He urges parents not to impart the idea that academic success alone guarantees success in life.

Instead, he advises parents to help their child develop skills such as building healthy relationships, working effectively with different kinds of people and presenting ideas clearly, which all play a role in satisfaction and well-being.

SEWING AND BREATHING

Calming techniques helped Mr Teh and Ms Cher cope with social anxiety in their younger days.

To prevent himself from spiralling into negativity, Mr Teh used techniques like box breathing, which involves taking slow, deep breaths.

He practised the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method, where stress and anxiety are managed by bringing one’s attention back to the present. It is done by thinking of five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.

He also consulted a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and took medication for anxiety when he was 18.