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Stranger scolds me for neglecting my non-existent children for work

The Straits Times

|

March 23, 2025

A taxi driver's tirade gives the writer an insight into how some men expect working mums to behave.

- Denise Chong

Aiyoh, why are you leaving work so late when you need to wake up early to get your children and breakfast ready in the morning, asked a cabby within seconds of meeting me for the first time in his car at almost midnight.

I didn't know that the price of a ride included an instant nuclear family — which did not exist for me outside of the cabby's mind and that I was disappointing family, society and all of mankind just by breathing and being female.

BLANK WOMAN PAPER DOLL

It was a bit of a shock being seen that night as a blank woman paper doll for people to dress up — or give me a dressing down — in a female stock role of the nurturing mother or the selfish money-faced witch.

"Earn so much money for what," he sniped at my weird working hours from behind his wheel. After all, children are important.

I agree that they are important and what if the money is going towards their needs, wants and dreams, I said in my mind, and what if I can earn a bigger salary to give everyone a good life.

"The father can get the children ready in the morning. The mother can earn the money," I continued saying, but this time out loud.

Metaphorically speaking, because... what children? Why did the cabby put mummy paper doll clothes on me, and why am I wearing them?

Well, I was keeping the mummy hat on for at least the duration of the ride so that I can defend working mothers with weird office hours from being called bad mums.

Is getting children and breakfast ready something that only women can do?

"Aiyah, earn so much money for what," he could only repeat.

Is the mother's money earned with love no good?

Is the father's breakfast prepared with love no good?

"EARN SO MUCH MONEY FOR WHAT"

If there are a lot of people here sharing the cabby's point of view, then throw Singapore's upcoming parental leave enhancements out of the cab window.

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