Moving out is not Western rebellion, it is Asian survival

Moving out of my family home, particularly before getting married, was never on the cards for me.

- Sarah Stanley

Sure, I fantasised about it occasionally — usually while rage-washing dirty dishes left in the sink by my brothers "to soak" or mopping up the mini flood zones they left on the bathroom floor.

But in my world, you stay. You stay through your 20s and 30s, if necessary. You live at home, you save money, you tiptoe around your parents' moods and learn the choreography of a shared space.

For a long time, I told myself I had no real reason to leave.

But slowly, as I approached my 30s, the reasons started piling up. They were not loud or dramatic, but quiet and persistent. The mental load. The lack of space. The constant negotiation of self.

In Singapore, moving out as a single is not just a decision or another milestone in adulthood, but also a logistical puzzle wrapped in cultural guilt.

Public housing policies make it nearly impossible to buy a flat until you are age 35, married or have special family circumstances.

Renting is not much easier. Prices have climbed steadily in recent years, making it an unrealistic option for anyone without deep savings or a high-paying job.

And even if you clear those hurdles, there is a deeper, stickier layer — the unspoken rule in many Asian households that leaving the nest for reasons other than marriage is unnatural and selfish.

Dr George Wong, assistant professor of sociology at Singapore Management University (SMU), observes that in the Republic, one of the growing points of friction between generations lies in how independence is defined.