A cross-cultural wedding in Perth, with our dog as ring bearer

There are many reasons why people cross the bridge to lifelong commitment later in life. I finally found mine.

- Chua Mui Hoong

There comes a moment in your relationship when you know you need to discuss The Future. For D and me, the moment came quite quickly in our courtship. We had met in Perth in 2023, and clicked almost immediately. We both saw life as a spiritual journey, and our time on earth as an opportunity to grow, to become the best possible versions of ourselves, so we can be of service to others.

We had come together late in life, after we had both lived through adversity and loss that shaped us into who we were, but which we refused to allow to define us.

We became committed and made plans for a shared future. His house in Perth became our home. His dog became our dog. Over time, we shared lives and plans for the future.

Would we take the next step and get married? In moments of closeness, we sometimes discussed the question, half in jest, half in wonder, always with a dose of scepticism.

Many relationships shatter against the rock of marriage, especially for those who meet in mid-to-late life. We are set in our ways. We may fear to trust and commit again. Adult children may not accept the relationship, and there are concerns over inheritance and family assets.

Some people have grown used to flying solo, and are loath to accommodate another person in their lives.

As for me, I like having a partner, but I had never really wanted to be married.

The idea of being a wife was unappealing, and I feared having to subsume my own identity. D was divorced with two grown-up children, contentedly single with a wide circle of friends.

As our bond deepened, we sometimes spoke of how things would be if we got married.

Then, one day, he used "when". We were in Singapore to attend a wedding, and I had arranged the trip so we would have time to revisit my old haunts. We had just cycled from Upper Thomson Road, where I used to live, to Lower Seletar Reservoir.

It was a cool, misty morning. We stopped for a breather.