We are all marked men

Here is an exciting piece I've kept for years and found funny. The article is titled: Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older.

- FRANCIS J. KONG

9. Death is the number one killer in the world.

8. Life is sexually transmitted.

7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

6. Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

5. Teach a person to use the Internet, and they won't bother you for weeks, months, or maybe years.

4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

3. Weather teaches us a valuable lesson. It pays no attention to criticism.

2. In the '60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now, the world is funny, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

1. Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

This list was funny to me years ago when I was much younger. But now that I am in my senior years, the humor doesn't carry quite the same punch.