The weight of expectations

PEDDLER OF HOPE BY MISTER ANGKAS

- GEORGE ROYECA

I have been reflecting lately on the nature of expectations. Not just the ones others have of us, but the ones we carry into our relationships, our work and even our sense of self. Expectations, when healthy, can be grounding. They give structure, accountability and hope. But I have also seen how easily they can twist into something heavier. Expectations that are unmet often breed entitlement, and entitlement, when left unchecked, almost always gives birth to resentment.

Resentment is rarely loud at first. It simmers. It grows in the quiet spaces of the heart, in the moments when we feel unseen, unappreciated or misunderstood. And if we are not careful, it becomes something we drag with us through the years, an invisible weight that eventually shapes the way we respond to the world.

I experienced this during the campaign. Politics is a whirlwind of expectations. Supporters expect attention, volunteers expect recognition, allies expect loyalty. At times, when I could not meet every demand, I felt the sting of disappointment from others harden into resentment. And truthfully, I carried my own resentment too, moments when I felt taken for granted or quietly judged. These moments stayed with me, resurfacing later in unexpected ways.

That is the thing about resentment. It does not vanish with time. It hardens into memory, into lived experience, sometimes into trauma. And when life presses the right button, the past collides with the present. What looks to others like a minor conflict feels to us like an old scar being ripped open.

This is what people call being "triggered." A sharp word, an offhand slight, a forgotten courtesy and suddenly we are not reacting to the moment in front of us, but to every unresolved moment behind us. The burst of anger, the quick defensiveness, the disproportionate reaction, these are not about now. They are echoes of then.