Who wants to be a ref when the rugby law book is a maze translated from Sanskrit

LAST year, my mate and sports agent Shafiek Mouton phoned me and asked what my day looked like. I told him I was off and about to head to the shops, nothing exciting.

- JOHN GOLIATH

Then, castally as ever, he dropped a bombshell: I was one of his “phone-a-friend” lifelines on the Afrikaans version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Everything was hush-hush, of course. Heid been sworn to secrecy, as we were in July and the show would only air in November.

Not long after, a woman called asking me to sign an NDA. It all felt very cloak-and-dagger, as if answering a quiz show question was national security stuff.

I nearly forgot about it, until the call came through while I was leaving the shop, soaked in the pouring rain. I got to the car, took a deep breath, put on my best Afrikaans, and answered: “Hallo Riaan!”

Shafiek hit me with the question: What is the name of the cage where MMA matches take place? Now, normally, the person on the other end gets four options. But Shafiek decided to go rogue — didn't give me any. A first for the show. Classic Shafiek.