Tales of past from a geriatric interloper at the school gates

SOMETIMES I forget that I am naught but a geriatric interloper in a sea of far younger mothers.

- Carrie Carlisle

Luckily they are always on hand to remind me. Sometimes it takes just a glance upon their smooth, wrinkle-free fizzogs to make me feel decrepit. Other occasions it’s listening to their school gate chatter, and having to intervene as the ancient voice of reason.

Take today for example...

The yummy mummies are having a lovely chinwag about sharing rites of passage with their little ones. Our children are five now, which means they can finally sit through an entire film without needing a wee.

I didn’t have the heart to break it to them that this particular life skill departs for whence it came, at around the age of 40.

Let them find out for themselves, as Mother Nature intended. To mark this auspicious occasion, one mama celebrated by letting her children watch “the original Parent Trap movie with Lindsay Lohan.”

Obviously I had to intervene.

I put my arm around her shoulder and gently informed her that Lindsay Lohan starred in the remake of Parent Trap.

Because the original was so old, it was made in 1961, and even I wasn’t alive then.

“Nooooo” mini mama squealed.