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TEENS VS PARENTS... HOW TO AVOID WAR

The Herald

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November 12, 2025

BATTLE LINES: It's easier said than done but try not to shout at your teenage child

Here, Dr Sunderland explains the best ways to react when teens are unreasonable or just plain angry...

1. BE EMPATHIC

If a teenager gets cross, Dr Sunderland says parents should try to be empathetic and let the teenager know they understand where their feelings are coming from.

“Say ‘This is really hard for you right now; or ‘You're really cross with me} just like you would with a toddler,’ she advises.

“The power of empathy and understanding will bring stress levels down. So just saying it’s really hard for them has the power of healing parent-child interactions.

2. DON'T GET DEFENSIVE

If your teen says they hate you, rather than saying ‘Don’t talk to me like that; which can cause “attachment ruptures” Dr Sunderland advises parents to say, ‘You really hate it that I put down that boundary - I get it that you're furious with me”

3. DON'T TRY TO FIX THE PROBLEM

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