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New head coach has what it takes to solve the Kane conundrum

The Guardian

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March 21, 2025

So far there has been something astringent and quietly refreshing about the pared-back stylings of Thomas Tuchel's new England.

- Barney Ronay

New head coach has what it takes to solve the Kane conundrum

There are natural caveats to this, not least the built-in obsolescence of the entire Tuchel project (cautious tactics; he's a German m8; not picking that player I like, etc, etc). But, for now, the lead-in to the reassuringly generic England double-header against Albania and Latvia has been closer to a soft launch than any other head coach era.

There will be no roaring, no medieval morris dancing tactical revivalism, also no agonising over the meaning of Albion, no old maids cycling to mass, no West End stage play about a gangly German pragmatist and his efforts to impose the 3-4-1-2 formation. Instead this feels like what it is: an 18-month deal, less the blooming of a new romance, more workmanlike middle-aged dating app. We're all grownups here. We have needs. Let's just see where it goes. And in the meantime make it feel good, quickly, with minimum waste.

So we saw the front-and-centring of Dan Burn this week, installed in record time as the nation's sweetheart and all-round It-Boy. This is also a smart bit of brand differentiation for Tuchel. No cosy age-group pathways here, no DNA, none of the "we've known about Dan for many years" stuff. In its place is a 32-year-old former Asda trolley boy, picked on form and here to do a job. Stand a little closer Dan. Smile.

Other favourite parts? Most obviously the expert defusing of the anthem trap. Tuchel has said he won't be singing God Save the King because he "needs to earn the right". It is a masterful take, totally disorientating. The issue here is that Tuchel is too respectful. This is not just a loophole, but a brilliant passive-aggressive rebuttal.

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